If I could only choose three things that I really love doing I would have to nominate reading, running, and hiking. Perhaps it’s no surprise that I would select the things that I was naturally drawn to as a child. The things that resonate with us as children seem to stay with us, even if they lie dormant at various times in our lives. It’s as if they remain deeply embedded in our souls waiting to re-emerge when the time is right.

This is not to say that I am not drawn to and inspired by all sorts of other things as an adult. There are so many other things that I love doing – travelling, taking photographs, practising yoga and listening to live music are just a few. I never want to stop learning and discovering. I’ve realised, however, that I draw enormous comfort and pleasure from doing the things I loved to do as a child.

Being absorbed in a good book makes me think of the little girl who, after a trip to the local bookshop with her father on the first day of the school holidays, excitedly announced at dinner that she had devoured ‘The Magic Faraway Tree’ that afternoon; the special treat that was intended to keep her busy for the whole of the holidays.

Re-discovering my love of running over the past year reminds me of the little girl who trained to run the Ballarat Courier Classic, a 17.2 km running race, that she entered with her mother, aunt and uncle; the little girl who, in the face of her mother’s last minute concerns about allowing her to do it, insisted that she had trained and was therefore entitled to attempt it; the little girl who, although very slowly, ran the whole way and felt enormously proud of herself for finishing it.

Hiking in the mountains connects me to the little girl who walked the Overland Track in Tasmania with her parents, the youngest in the group we were hiking with; the little girl who, carrying a backpack more than half her height, was completely captivated and exhilarated by the entire experience and has loved connecting with nature ever since.

Are there things you love doing as adult that connect you to the child you once were?

Ever since I wrote my recent post about authenticity, I seem to keep coming across the most thoughtful, wonderful articles and interviews about what it means to live life authentically. It’s as if the universe is telling me to get on with it and start putting the real me out there more often.  Now that I’m in my mid thirties, I think I know myself pretty well. I do, however, still find it challenging to speak and act in line with my values in situations that are not entirely comfortable for me. In order to keep moving forward I know that this needs to change.

Reading about something is, of course, by no means the same as doing it. I spent countless years devouring inspirational books about running without lacing up my own running shoes. I have, however, always found the insights and wisdom of others very helpful and inspiring, so I thought I would gather together and share some of the things I have read and listened to recently about authenticity.

The following extract is from the blog A Cup of Jo. The author’s mother emailed the following powerful advice to her daughter –

“It seems to me that being authentic is being brave enough or just candid enough to be honest about what you are experiencing or who you are, whether it is popular are not. A person gives a gift to other people when they say, ‘This is what happened to me or this is how I truly feel, no matter what the popular belief is about what I should feel.’ Whenever you are honest, you are speaking for a thousand silent people who don’t have the voice to say what they really feel or are really experiencing. So, if you ever talk about [the thing you went through], you will touch a million hearts. Because you are speaking for more than just yourself. You are never alone in what you are feeling. I love you.”

How beautiful. Joanna’s post, which she wrote soon after reading these words, is incredibly powerful and moving, and one that I’m sure will be helpful to many women.

Next, I’d like to share Kate James’ interview with Robert Rabbin, the person who changed her perception on what it means to really live life authentically. It is a lovely interview, which I listened to after a day that had left me feeling emotionally drained. I had remained silent during a difficult conversation, keeping my values and opinions safely locked away from the majority view. Kate’s interview helped me see that part of living authentically is having the courage to share your perspective even when it is difficult to do so. You can listen to the interview here and read Kate’s recent newsletter about interviewing Robert here.

Finally, I want to share two wonderful interviews with the queen of authenticity Brene Brown (here and here). And if you haven’t watched her TED talk yet it’s a must. In the spirit of authenticity, I have listened to  Brene’s talk a number of times and it makes me cry every time!

It is hard to believe that the first month of 2012 is already behind us. Taking the idea from Susannah Conway’s workbook ‘Unravelling the Year Ahead 2012’, I have been trying to find a word to guide me through 2012, a word that captures the kind of year I want to have. I love the idea of having a guiding word as opposed to concrete resolutions that, once broken, are so easy to discard. For some reason I have found settling on a word harder than I anticipated. I have, however, finally found a word that feels right. That word is ‘nourish’.

The word ‘nourish’ is defined as nurturing or feeding something for growth. I like the feeling this evokes in me. It makes me think of growth that is manageable, healthy, sustainable and enjoyable; as opposed to growth that can occur as the result of sudden change which can be difficult to adapt to.

The most obvious thing that the word ‘nourish’ conjures up is healthy, nutritious food. Cooking and eating nourishing food is something I want to focus on more this year. While I was in Australia I picked up two wonderful cookbooks recommended by naturopath Gill Stannard - ‘Feel Good Food’ (by Tony Chiodo) and ‘Super Natural Every Day’ (by Heidi Swanson). I look forward to trying out new recipes that incorporate a wider variety of nutritious foods. I also want to reduce my sugar intake and will be turning to Sarah Wilson’s e-book for support and information.

I am keen to nourish my meditation practice. Without regular meditation I can suffer from underlying and persistent anxiety, the cause of which I find difficult to pinpoint. I have meditated on and off for a number of years now and I attended a ten-day silent meditation retreat at the end of 2008. I know with absolute certainty that meditation has an immediately calming effect on me and that with regular practice I feel more grounded and appreciative of all that I have in my life. I have, however, struggled to incorporate meditation into my life as regularly as I would like.

I want to keep exploring, dreaming and working toward realising my dream of one day doing something with my life that I truly love, something that helps others and that inspires and energises me. I plan to nourish this dream by continuing to write and take photographs for this blog, connecting with like-minded, supportive people, taking courses and reading books that encourage me in this direction. I also want to get better at creating the space for my intuition to break through and to make sure I listen to it.

Finally, I want to continue to nourish my love of running. Running has become such a joyful and important part of my life. I know, however, that I need to continue to nurture and feed this passion to make sure that it continues to be a source of joy and growth.

Do you have a guiding word for 2012? I’d love to hear it!

I recently asked Kate James of Total Balance and The Change Project if she could tell me the best piece of advice she has ever been given (if you missed my interview with her you can read it here). Her response was – “Be authentic. There is only one version of you and all you ever need to be is that person”. The beauty and apparent simplicity of this statement really struck me.  While being the one true version of our self should, logically, be the most natural thing in the world, it seems it can also be one of life’s greatest challenges. As the poet E.E. Cummings said -

“To be nobody but yourself – in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight – and never stop fighting.”

Why is it often so difficult to present our real self to the world? I guess it’s tied up with wanting to be accepted, to be liked; wanting to avoid being judged or ridiculed; wanting to fit in and not stand out. While I like to think of myself as an authentic person I know that I too often shield the real me from the world. This blog is just one example of that. I have only mentioned it to a select few who know me personally, people I am absolutely sure would be supportive and who would be likely to enjoy it.

In her book ‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ Brene Brown says -

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen”.

She does, however, agree that this is not easy -

“The idea that we can choose authenticity makes most of feel both hopeful and exhausted. We feel hopeful because being real is something we value. Most of us are drawn to warm, down-to-earth, honest people, and we aspire to be like that in our own lives. We feel exhausted because without even giving it too much thought most of know that choosing authenticity in a culture that distastes everything from how much we’re supposed to weigh to what our houses are supposed to look like is a huge undertaking”

So is authenticity worth striving for? Brene Brown thinks so. She believes that by simultaneously accepting our vulnerability and our strength, even when it’s often easier not to “we invite grace, joy and gratitude into our lives”.

Revealing my true self to the world is something I’m working on. I am, however, taking it slowly, one small step at a time.

I want to leave you with a great tip that Brene Brown recommends and one that I have found very powerful –

“I try to make authenticity my number one goal when I go into a situation where I’m feeling vulnerable. If authenticity is my goal and I keep it real, I never regret it. I might get my feelings hurt, but I rarely feel shame. When acceptance or approval becomes my goal, and it doesn’t work out, that can trigger shame for me: “I’m not good enough.” If the goal is authenticity and they don’t like me, I’m okay. If the goal is being liked and they don’t like me, I’m in trouble. I get going by making authenticity the priority”.

Today I had a facial. It is my indulgence, my monthly treat that I look forward to. I have been going back to the same place for some time now. It is a treatment room attached to a shop that sells natural and organic products. I like the shop very much, however it is the young woman, Cheri, I see who draws me back each time. Between Cheri’s broken English and my smattering of French we have somehow formed a strong connection. Cheri is amazing at what she does and she clearly loves it. I’m convinced that she has magic hands. It probably sounds quite strange to say but I believe that Cheri communicates so much through her massage.

Today I learned that Cheri has a tumour in her left little finger. If I understood correctly she is to have two operations. The first to graft skin from her arm and the second to remove the tumour and graft the skin from her arm onto her finger. Cheri said that the tumour she has is very rare but that with the operations she should be ok. It struck me as so ironic that Cheri should have a rare tumour in her hand when she gives so much to others through the use of her hands.

We also talked today about our dreams, which turn out to be quite similar. Cheri’s is to one day have her own natural therapies practice while mine is also to have my own practice of some kind, the details of which are still formulating in my mind. During the conversation Cheri used the words ‘un beau reve’ (a beautiful dream). These words have stayed with me all afternoon. I’ve been thinking about how important it is to have a beautiful dream, especially when life can throw up such unexpected challenges as it has for Cheri. I hope she knows how much joy she gives me and no doubt countless other people. I also hope to one day to visit her when she is running her own thriving natural therapies practice.

As the end of the year approaches I find myself reflecting on the year that has been and wondering what the new one will bring. Quite unintentionally, this year has turned out to be one of self-discovery. It has been difficult at times as I have been confronted with some insights that initially made me uncomfortable. As a result, I have gone round in circles and, despite these insights, have reverted back to old and familiar ways of being at various times during the year. Slowly, however, I am allowing them to resurface again and I think I am starting to accept and even embrace them rather than resist. Ironically, I feel I have actually made significant progress this year by slowing things down and not rushing into things. Taking the time to notice what is really going on within has been powerful.

So many unanticipated things have happened this year that I am thankful for. I have re-discovered my love of running (thank you Julia and Shauna!). Running has re-invigorated and inspired me; made me so much more aware of and grateful for my physical being;  helped me cultivate more self-discipline; increased my self-confidence; and shown me the power of consistency. I have also made some wonderful and unexpected connections with people this year, whether though my online running group, the Do What You Love e-course I took recently or starting this blog. The support and encouragement I have received from people that I have not yet met has been overwhelming.

I don’t usually think too much about the year ahead, however I am keen to sustain and build on the positives from this year and so I have been turning my mind to the new year recently. I recently discovered Susannah Conway’s blog, ‘Notes on Unravelling the Heart’ and I love the look of her workbook which she has posted to ‘help you unravel your year ahead and say farewell to the year behind’. It looks perfect for the long plane trip back to Australia. I’m really looking forward to a break and re-connecting with friends and family as well as enjoying the light and natural beauty of Australia that I miss so much.

Whatever your plans for the festive season I wish you a happy and peaceful time.

Since my previous post I’ve been thinking about the fact that I have often resisted aspects of my nature and wished that I were otherwise – witty, commanding, quick on my feet, comfortable in groups, decisive, ambitious, tougher. I’ve sometimes felt that possessing such attributes would make life more straightforward and easier to manage. Reading an article by Kate James of Total Balance recently I was struck by what Kate had to say about being sensitive. Kate says that she used to think that her sensitivity was a flaw that she wanted to change but didn’t know how to. Over time she has come to value her sensitive nature and realises that, despite it sometimes making life more difficult, it enhances her life in wondrous ways. Her words are beautiful and they really resonated with me. When I stop and pay attention I can see that there are many positive qualities in the aspects of my nature that I resist. Noticing them has helped me start to accept and appreciate them more. Thank you Kate!

Yesterday I unexpectedly discovered that Kermit the Frog has a similar message. I obviously didn’t fully appreciate his simple yet wise words as a child but I have had a lot of pleasure revisiting them. What an endearing creature!

“It’s not easy being green. Having to spend each day the colour of the leaves. When I think it could be so much nicer being red, or yellow or gold. Or something much more colourful like that.

It’s not easy being green. It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things. And people tend to pass you over ’cause you’re not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water. Or stars in the sky.

But green’s the colour of Spring. And green can be cool and friendly-like. And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain, or tall like a tree.

When green is all there is to be. It could make you wonder why, but why wonder, why wonder, I am green and it’ll do fine. It’s beautiful and I think it’s what I want to be”