“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is time for home.” – Edith Sitwell
As the weather was beginning to turn recently I remarked to a friend that I’m not even close to feeling ready for winter. Last winter was, for a variety of reasons, a particularly tough one for me. It felt bleak and never-ending. “But there is so much to love about winter!” my friend responded in genuine surprise. As we kept talking she gently encouraged me to bring to mind something that I enjoy about winter, no matter how simple. I thought for a moment and reluctantly listed something. Then something else popped into my mind. Then another, and another… Before I knew it my list had grown surprisingly long and we were planning fun winter outings. I came away from our conversation feeling buoyed by this simple yet powerful shift in perspective.
When I got home from seeing my friend I wrote out a list titled “Things to Love About Winter” and stuck it on my fridge as a reminder. It reads:
- feeling invigorated by outdoor activities (hiking, running etc) – the hot shower afterwards feels soooo good. When I lived in Switzerland I used to run in the snow on days as cold as -10 degrees. It might sound crazy, but I rugged up appropriately and felt absolutely amazing both during and after these runs.
- going to bed really early with a cup of tea and a good book.
- lighting candles, lots of them and often. So wonderfully indulgent and atmospheric in winter. Gone are the days of saving candles for special occasions. Why not make everyday a special occasion?
- catching up with friends in cosy pubs over mulled wine and cheese.
- winter clothes.
- hearty, warming soups and stews.
- outdoor hot springs. This is another thing I used to do in the depths of winter when l lived in Switzerland. It’s hard to describe how magical being outdoors in warm hot springs surrounded by snow capped mountains was. I recently visited the Mornington Peninsula Hot Springs and plan to go back in winter when I suspect it will be even more wonderful.
- live music gigs. Something I love all year round but what a great line up of artists coming to Melbourne this winter!
It’s such an easy trap to fall into isn’t it, to anticipate that something will be a certain way based on past experience? Our brains are amazingly efficient but not always helpful! My conversation with my friend was such a helpful reminder to pause and shift my perspective. It wasn’t false positivity that I cultivated, I was genuinely able to list things I enjoy about winter. I just needed a prompt to bring them into conscious awareness.
Can you relate to this tendency? Is there something you’re not looking forward to based on a past experience? Maybe pause and see if there’s a way of shifting your expectation that doesn’t feel artificial. Notice if you’re imposing an unhelpful expectation from past experience. Shifting your perspective will help you feel a whole lot better and increase the chance you’ll have a different experience.
