I love reading interviews, especially interviews with people who are insightful, inspiring, caring and down to earth. So, with this in mind, I’ve decided to start a series of interviews called ‘Meet the Meditators’. Every second month I plan to interview an inspiring woman who meditates (every other month I hope to interview a woman whose passion for nature is expressed through her work, play or both!).
I am absolutely thrilled that Kate James of Total Balance, author of ‘Believe In Yourself and Do What You Love’, agreed to be my first interviewee! Kate’s areas of interest and expertise include helping people find meaning and direction in their lives, mindfulness and stress management. Kate also teaches meditation and runs the most wonderful meditation retreats. Kate is incredibly warm, open, thoughtful, inspiring and intelligent. I can honestly say if it weren’t for Kate I wouldn’t be doing what I love. I hope you enjoy her responses.
Can you tell me a little about what first drew you to meditation and your early experience learning to meditate?
I’ve been drawn to anything ‘alternative’ since I was about 13. It feels as though those things just called me somehow – I really can’t remember where the desire came from. I had my first real experience of meditation when I was 21. I read a book of Paul Wilson’s called The Calm Technique. I tried to meditate as he had directed and thought (as many people do), ‘I’m not doing this right’ so I gave it away for a few years. When I finally came back to it, it was during a time that Chris had been out of work for a while and I was pretty stressed. Our girls were little and I knew I didn’t want to parent them from that mindset so I joined a Transcendental Meditation (TM) course. The funny thing is, they taught me exactly the same technique outlined in Paul’s book!
How would you say meditation has influenced your life and what are its greatest benefits for you personally?
I can honestly say it has totally transformed my life. I have always been an over-thinker and a worrier and while I don’t think meditation has made me a different person, the way I interact with my thoughts is profoundly different. I have a much greater sense of awareness, I feel more at peace with myself and the world, and I feel a deep sense of contentment that I hadn’t imagined ever feeling when I was young.
Would you mind sharing a little of what your meditation practice involves?
I meditate every weekday morning without fail and practise occasionally on the weekends. I sit in a comfy chair or cross legged in bed when it’s freezing cold and I start by focusing on my breath. I scan across my body, checking in for where I’m holding tightness or tension and then when I’m ready, I bring to mind my mantra. I still use the same mantra I was given when I learned TM. For me, it’s a simple and easy way to help quieten the chatter in my mind.
Do you have any tips on how we can integrate meditation into our busy lives in such a way that it doesn’t become yet another thing on our ‘should do’ list?
For me, it’s just a non-negotiable – the same as cleaning my teeth. When I first started meditating, I had to think about making a commitment to getting up early (it’s really not something I love) but it’s been over twenty years and now it’s just something I do. I think that meditating first thing in the morning is the best time because nothing else gets in the way. I had small children when I began so there were some days when they woke extra early which meant I missed a session. The key then is to be gentle with yourself but to do your best to take a bit of time to fit it in later in the day if possible. In terms of tips for other people, I think ultimately it’s about keeping in mind the bigger reason that you want to meditate. The desire to have a better quality of life, more connected relationships or a more peaceful mind is often enough to motivate you to make it a priority.
What advice would you give to someone who is just starting out with meditation?
Be kind to yourself. Don’t put yourself under too much pressure and most definitely, put aside any perfectionistic tendencies. Come to the practice with an open mind and little expectation of yourself. You don’t want to be striving for anything – if you can see it as simply a bit of time out, that’s often a good way to begin.
And finally, a more general question, what is the best piece of life advice you’ve ever been given?
Be authentic and be kind to yourself. Try not to get caught up in comparing yourself with other people and accept your flaws. None of us is perfect and it’s important that we learn to be at peace with who we are as much as possible. One way of doing this is to simply say to yourself, either in your meditation or outside of meditation, ‘everything is ok, just as it is right now.’
